For as long as I can remember, I’ve wanted to write, play music, sing, dance, create. But I wanted to be a mother too. Desperately. For a long time, it seemed that neither dream would realise.
Fertility treatment takes an enormous toll. It eats away at your sense of womanhood, your hope, your zest for life as well as your pocket. During 7 years of IVF treatment, I was so busy trying to make a baby that I did little else creative. There was lots to write about, had I been able to tap into it, but all my energies were spent on the monumental endeavour of trying to create a life. Then, just when we had all but given up, our little girl arrived. Being a mum is the very best thing I will ever do, I am absolutely sure of that. Like all parents, I think she’s amazing, and I could (and often do) spend all day just watching and listening to her. But I want her to know me, too. I’m not done making.
If my experience with IVF has taught me anything, it is that you have to pursue your dreams with fierce conviction, take the responsibility for their realisation into your own hands and keep walking doggedly towards them, even when you can barely make out their shape on the far horizon.
When my marriage ended in 2015, I started writing again. I began taking photographs and returned to my piano and my guitar. I entered the inaugural Irish Times Travel Writer Competition and, to my complete surprise, I won (click here to read my winning piece). My prize was a trip to India and a further article on that journey published in the Irish Times (you can read my article here). Suddenly, it seemed possible that I could be a mother and a writer. What else, then, is possible?
This blog is a way for me to bring together all of my creative projects. I hope it will be a journey out into the world as much as a journey inwards to find out what else inside me is waiting to be born. I hope that you’ll find something here to connect to, something that will bring you back again, whoever and wherever you are.